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After nearly 20 years as a litigator, Winter Wheeler decided it was time to pursue her passion for mediation. She left her senior position at an Atlanta law firm and pursued her dream.
In today鈥檚 episode of Motivational Mondays, we discuss how Winter resolves disputes by focusing on civility and compassion. It begins with meeting people where they鈥檙e at and mastering the art of uncomfortable conversations.
Winter shares a unique point of view that you don鈥檛 want to miss!
Winter knew within a year of graduating law school that she wanted to build an empire and leave a legacy for her children. She wanted to be in a position to hit the ground running and quickly climb to the top, earning respect and gravitas.
To accomplish that, she knew she needed years of litigation experience behind her. It鈥檚 near impossible to book high-paying clients without it.
Winter enjoyed being a litigator which she describes as putting puzzle pieces together. She got to solve problems, help people, and the job allowed her to use her skillset to the fullest.
If you鈥檝e considered mediation as a career choice, she says to look at your life and what you can afford to do and what you want to achieve. She won鈥檛 advise someone to spend $300,000 on law school鈥攜ou have to decide if that鈥檚 what you want yourself. She notes while you don鈥檛 need to be an attorney to succeed as a mediator, it makes the road to success easier.
The technique that Winter uses in mediations鈥擳he Four Cornerstones of Mediation鈩⑩�攆ocuses on communication, cultural distinctions, empathy, and approaching each individual as an individual.
f you can approach someone and understand the lens with which they view life you can have a better conversation. But you must step away from your lens and be willing to adjust your communication accordingly.
Winter isn鈥檛 saying you can鈥檛 have feelings about a situation. But when you want to get your point across, you can鈥檛 say the same thing five times and think they鈥檝e heard it. You have to change the way you approach a conversation and say things in a way they鈥檒l understand.
View yourself as a translator or an interpreter. When you find common ground and make sure everyone has what they need, it can feel like they have what they want. Once you get to that place, they feel like they won that day and everyone can move on.
One of Winter鈥檚 favorite quotes is 鈥淪top expecting yourself from other people.鈥� They don鈥檛 have your experience and cannot be you. Give of yourself because you want to and don鈥檛 expect anything in return.
When you let go of those expectations, you let go of the burdens you鈥檝e put on yourself. You relieve yourself of pain you didn鈥檛 know you were putting yourself through.
Meeting people where they live
Winter helps people resolve their differences by listening. She鈥檚 there to help them get the emotion out of the way so they convince themselves to resolve their situation.
Each human being knows what鈥檚 best for themselves and their families and they will make decisions accordingly. They don鈥檛 want to do something because she told them to.
Winter will ask each party, 鈥淚 want you to tell me why you want this. What is it about this that you need? What do you think this looks like in real life?鈥�
The Dad in a scenario may want full custody of his children but he works 12 hours a day. Wouldn鈥檛 it be better for the kids to have their Mom pick them up from school because she can? Winter helps people move away from operating out of spite.
In this episode, we also delve into another one of Winter鈥檚 TEDx Talks, 鈥淐onfessions of a Mom Who Has it All.鈥� Winter shares what led to writing the talk that left her in tears as well as the struggle of balancing a career and a family. Don鈥檛 miss her heart-warming and powerful story.
Listen to the bonus episode to learn about Winter鈥檚 Four Cornerstones of Mediation and how years of legal practice can make you a stronger mediator.
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Watch Winter Wheeler鈥檚 Popular TEDx Talk
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