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How do you build a more compassionate society through civil participation? There is so much divisiveness in our country today and people live in their ideological bubbles. When people engage across divides, Libby Stegger sees two common trends. First, some agree to avoid a discussion altogether. But, if they do engage, it鈥檚 often explosive and damaging to the relationship.
Libby believes there鈥檚 a better way, a way where people can interact more productively, listen authentically, and find common ground. That鈥檚 why she founded Move for America.
Move for America matches participants into a fellowship program with local community-based organizations where they experience immersive service-learning. Throughout the fellowship, they develop and practice skills to bridge divides and reflect on the positive impact of the community they鈥檙e serving.
The goal of Move for America isn鈥檛 about compromising or sacrificing your beliefs. But you have to learn to see humanity in another person鈥檚 perspective. It starts with having a dialogue or even spirited debate, with an opportunity to learn about the other person鈥檚 perspective without feeling forced to change your mind.
Libby emphasizes, 鈥淲hen we don鈥檛 have that dialogue, when we don鈥檛 seek to see the humanity in other people, we actually fuel more fear, division and mistrust.鈥� You must embrace productive dialog and accept you may never see eye-to-eye on a topic 鈥攁nd that鈥檚 okay.
Can you simply hear the other person and try to understand their values and where they鈥檙e coming from? You don鈥檛 have to convince someone that they鈥檙e wrong. Instead, try to empathize with them. Libby notes that empathy is deeply courageous because it鈥檚 scary but also rewarding to try and understand someone else鈥檚 feelings.
Libby points out that conflict stems from an emotional reaction to something that has been said. Your fight or flight instinct kicks in, prompting either conflict or retreat. But you can pause for a moment and choose to understand the person better instead. It can feel tense鈥攂ut lean into it. Ask them questions and listen intently.
You can ask, 鈥淗ow did you come to that belief?鈥� Or you can point out that you believe something different but that you鈥檙e curious how they see things. When you ask genuine questions, you can find that you might not be as far apart on sensitive issues as you thought.
Build a foundation of trust by choosing to meet people where they are. It鈥檚 okay to see the world differently but it doesn鈥檛 mean that everything actually is different. We can work to find shared solutions that advance our common values. If more of us do this, it can create a ripple effect.
What You鈥檒l Experience With Move For America
When you become a fellow with Move for America, you become part of a cohort. You start with a week-long orientation with training and workshops with guest speakers who cover these topics.
You practice bridging divides, having conversations, and embracing the mindfulness to take a breath when your fight or flight instinct kicks in. Then you dive in and work in community organizations based on your interests.
Each week the group comes together to reflect on what they鈥檙e learning and how they've evolved. Libby firmly states that this is a muscle and you must practice. It鈥檚 a reflective work designed to help build compassionate communication that is essential for everyday life.
Listen to the bonus episode to learn Libby鈥檚 advice for young people graduating and entering the workforce, and how to enter the fellowship program at Move4America.org.
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